Rick Stilwell (@rickcaffeinated)

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GTD – Experiment In Progress

Written February 22, 2012 by Rick Stilwell in consulting, personal

Sunday night I posted this photo to Instagram, and it’s an honest question that might need some explanation. It’s a screen capture from my phone of the Day One app, which is actually a wonderfully elegant app for just journaling, jotting down the day’s notes, making sure the user doesn’t forget whatever’s important. It’s one of a handful of apps I have on my phone for the same purpose: writing these daily instances on a digital app/device rather than on a notebook page with pen.

At least this week, I’m trying to wean myself a bit from the spiralbound notebook, for better or for worse. Honestly, I want to see if I’m missing out on anything by not taking notes with my phone or other device. This experiment’s upside for me might be that I miss the pen and lined paper so much that I go back with a smile, knowing what I probably already know. But the opposing end is equally cool, finding out that I can have some of the same experience digitally that I currently really only have offline.

My normal morning routine:

Get to my cubicle and login.
Pull out current spiralbound notebook.
Find a decent pen (this is part of the fun for me, the pen geek).
Write down my usual every day tasks – this might be weird, but there’s something gratifying about putting the same three-five things on a piece of paper every day. I do them, and I cross them off. Productivity ensues.
Think about meetings, check Outlook calendar for anything else, and make those notes on the page as well.
Checkmarks with circles around the tasks as we roll together through the day.

And maybe there’s a clue about why I like the analog world for my daily notes and doodles: “as we roll together through the day”. The pen and paper become as much of an offshoot of my identity as anything else in my life, much like my iPhone. And there’s the crux of it as well, wondering if one constant (my notebooks) can interact as wonderfully with another constant (iPhone) in my day-to-day workflow.

We’ll see.

What device/habit/tool are you most attached to for your own GTD?

UPDATE 1:45pm 02/22 – phone call, jotted down note/reminder for Friday on a sticky note with a pin. Force of habit. Was on my iPhone, reached for something else to write down that note.

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Conflict Rocks

Written February 20, 2012 by Rick Stilwell in connections, networking, personal

Editors’ NOTE: This post has been sitting in Rick’s tumblr drafts for a long long (okay, we don’t really know how long) time. But it’s good. And it’s decently pointed. So we thought it would fit here. Thanks, and apologies for any lack of cross-posting inconvenience. – the Editors

It’s unavoidable. Sometime, somewhere with someone over something, you’ll find yourself in the middle of a gullywasher of a disagreement. You’ll offend someone with your otherwise innocuous ideas, and all hell will combust in glorious vein-popping majesty. What do you do?

Do you run?
Do you lash out?
Do you return vitriol for offense, heaping salt on any open wounds?
Do you throw up defense shields and load up photon torpedoes, wheeling around for the return volley?
Do you compliantly change your status to alleviate the built-up pressure the quickest way possible?
Do you throw back name-calling and putdowns?
Do you resort to extortion?
Do you quit?

Or, is there a way to (hopefully) use this time of tectonic shift to steer the whole conversation – not just your side, not just theirs, but the whole thing – in a more profitable and beneficial direction?

Maybe it’s a pride thing. Someone feels squatted on. Someone thinks everyone is rightly or wrongly out to get him. Someone feels left out and is marking her territory with whatever spit and vitriol being mustered. Sometimes the only upside is to let the other party vent, get it out, and simmer down. But if there’s a way to learn from the opposing viewpoint, if there’s room to see from her perspective, from his point of view what all the hubbub is about, take that opportunity as quickly and positively as you can. Be the listener and hear the complaint. Put on metaphorical empathetic earplugs and let the volume of the smacktalk subside to the more discernible truth of what’s really wrong, and try to encompass the problem with this new vantage point included in your big picture.

How do you think that would look? Have you tried doing this in the past, and has it worked out positively or detrimentally?

Most times, “winning” is not the goal. Instead, moving forward with the best of all intentions and motivated with the best of all perspectives to do the best with and for everyone is the best choice by far. Being right together is often better than having my own way, regardless how much I might think those two things are already synonymous in my own head.

Lastly, let it go. For me that comes across like this: “Let. It. Go.” It’s hard to take a full frontal assault and deflect it to something worthwhile. The energy in the attack has to be absorbed, and that can only come at a price. While I might be able to participate and listen and settle the situation into something workable, it takes everything out of me. My emotional tank is depleted after such an engagement, and it takes over-encouragement and goodness to rebuild/refuel the generators. In the aftermath, take notes and write down action points (literally or metaphorically), and then leave it there to be addressed when power levels are once again battle ready.

How do you handle confrontation?

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Working Together

Written February 13, 2012 by Rick Stilwell in connections, networking, social media

I’ve told folks that I’m more into the relational aspect of social media – the “social” more than the “media” side. This article tweaked me in it’s ideas for collaborating and brainstorming together:

Put more simply, it’s a way for a group of people to get together and brainstorm with structure. It’s a way to be sure even the introverts have a voice. And it’s a way to be sure not one person does all the talking and is the only voice who gets a say.

The meeting was divided by charrette. You had 15-20 minutes to present your thinking and then debate its merits with the other experts, staff, and trustees.

It worked really, really well. Better than any brainstorm I’ve ever sat in on.

via Take a Different Approach to Brainstorming | Spin Sucks.

Read the whole article, and imagine some of your own meetings going in a similar direction. At work, or church, or at the country rec league getting ready for spring soccer tryout – what if we took time to think without some of the fear or the politics that often go into these scenarios?

For the past few weeks, I’ve been noticing negativity more and more online. It’s been on Twitter, on Facebook, on Instagram even. And my first self-judgment is that I’m noticing it because it’s welling up in me more than normal, too. My own judgmentalism and negative reactions are leading to me noticing it more all over – so I’m to blame more than anything for the “noticing” part of the equation.

So hopefully it’s without pointing fingers that I am now looking at this from the perspective of relationships and being together in the good stuff of life. We cut each other off in negativity. I cut others off when I’m looking through mud-colored glasses. And we/I end up losing more than we gain when we/I do that. One of the areas we/I lose out on is working together, letting each other influence and impact the whole separately and collectively.

I guess it’s the knowledge that I’m not perfect and that I don’t know everything that leads me to want to get more cooks in the kitchen. I want to know what you think. I don’t want to miss out on your addition to our experience. And this article outlines a way to get everyone thinking on their own – in my reading, it means everyone has an equal opportunity to fling it out there. And that separation of egos can then come together as a better, more well-rounded whole.

Value everyone’s ideas – all thoughts on the table because with this framework, it’s already been individually vetted before being brought to the group.
Value YOUR OWN ideas – this is huge, I think, because when we brainstorm in certain groups we often think too highly or too inferior about our own ideas depending on who’s in the group. Stop that – foundationally here. you’re the boss of your own ideas and it’s up to you to work out the particulars before presenting to the group.
Listen – this is big in all of life, and it’s important here because you’ll get to hear other folks share something they’ve spent time and effort on, hearing firsthand how it might mesh into what you’ve also put time and effort into on your side.
Blend graciousness with pragmatism – let each other dream; let each other try things out mentally and philosophically; and then collectively bring the pieces together into a doable/workable whole that’s better than any one piece would’ve been alone.
UPDATE: another bulletpoint from Gini from SpinSucks.com in the comments below: “One thing I would add to your list. People go into brainstorms or meetings or discussions thinking everyone works and thinks the same way they do. Be cognizant of other personality types (introverts and extroverts) so everyone has a voice. That’s why I like the charrettes so much – they give everyone a voice.”

So this week, I’m looking for more ways to work together with those around me. Whether it’s in the office or in various extracurricular get-togethers, how can I be a part of something collaborative and more truly representative of everyone together? That’s what I want to be a part of. That’s some of the meaningful stuff that’s been missing in my own recent descent.

What about you? How are you collaborating and working together with other lately?